Commercials

Okay...I just saw a commercial advertising a Mexican Caesar Salad. Let's all
get multi-cultural! Hey buddy, the Caesar Salad is MEXICAN!!! It was
invented in Tijuana by a guy named Caesar Cardini. Now, if you see the flaw
in that argument then you have done your homework.

Commercials are thirty-second spots carefully crafted with a specific agenda
in mind, built upon tools of persuasion in order to get a desired result out
of a person. Did you know that people go to school for this? There are
actually classes in how to advertise, how to shape a person's world view so
they will buy your product. Am I the only person that sees a problem in
this?

Then are the people that thought up some of these lame ideas, like the Pizza
Hut Buffalo Wing pizza. My first beef is with these pizza places putting
wings on pizza. Look, Buffalo Wings are spicy chicken wings. Buffalo, NY,
was famous for their unique style of chicken wings, so they named them
Buffalo Wings. The second problem is that not only was someone so high that
he probably thought that Ike Turner was the Prime Minister of Canada, but he
also had the chutzpah to pitch this idea to his boss...and his boss loved
it!

I know how this whole thing went down: Two buddies get together after not
hanging out like they used to. They steal their sons' pot and go to the
basement to smoke out. They stay up all night drinking, smoking, and coming
up with the ultimate idea. They are going to put Buffalo Wings on the pizza.
"Yeah, that would be good-chicken on pizza! It's like the chicken is on the
pizza, and the pizza is sort of around it!" They get to bed around four AM
and have to get up early because they have to attend a brainstorming session
with their VP. So they drag themselves to work for the brainstorming
session. One of them mutters, "Let's put chicken on pizza." Some stuffy
update person utters, "Been done." One of the guys turns and says,
"No...Buffalo Wings!" The other guy chuckles and says, "But we would remove
the wing--you know, the bone...that would just be bad." So the ad exec goes
home and tells the humorous anecdote from work. His baked son says "Wow, I
would eat that!" The idea pops into his head: If his son likes it, it must
be cool, and if it's cool it will sell. This could be the idea to get him
promoted. Sadly, it's the idea that is soon going to have him making indie
commercials in Northern California.

Look, there is a reason why this stuff doesn't catch on. It's like McDonald'
s selling shark sandwiches-it's a really dumb idea. Who in their right mind
would eat such a thing?

Now people are suing McDonald's because it made them fat. These are the same
morons that thought fried sushi was a great idea and wonder why McDonald's
didn't go for it. They should just keep the Big Mac, Whopper, Famous Star,
regular fries..the basics; that is all that really sells (In-n-Out CASE IN
POINT!!!) One size, take it or leave it. Good food will sell itself. That,
and a really catchy tune ("In-n-Out , In-n-Out , that's what a hamburger is
all about"). Now that is genius, but still a very well-crafted,
well-engineered marketing ploy. This is why some ad execs and marketing
people seek out new careers. Where are the people who thought that New Coke
was a great idea? And where are the people that pitched a clear Pepsi?